Anxiety

Breathing softly into the microphone...
I cringed at the sound of my own voice and suddenly I felt all alone
Anxiety held it's fingers over my head drugged and
I wondered if my depression would die...
My fingers longed to grasp another place
But they were weak and without originality
My mind stretched to find peace,
But it's thoughts were brown and green and without personality
And my fingers mimicked another's and I felt as though I'd shared something
Without having created anything...
How my peers used to tell me that I was nothing, but would I be?
How my peers used to tell me I was ugly, but should I be?
And anything I thought that I was, I couldn't be.
So I wanted to hide and I wanted to run
And the rage that should filled my woes was weak
And all I felt for was for a garden that didn't grow...
But the bucket that leaks does so
And the love that fills my mind seems out of reach
I'm feeling so speechless
I don't know